Stuck Between a Rock and a Bigger Rock

Sometimes I just want to cry out "why?". Why does everything seem to be an obstacle?

I've tried to look at it in a positive light and tried to put that new age spin on it but ultimately, when you come down to it..it is still being stuck between a rock and a bigger rock.

The rebel in me is going to keep fighting even though I might stop along the way to let out my anger/fear/disappointment/disgust. Crying/throwing things and overall getting it all out is just my way to clear the negative so that I can start to fight again.

Nothing in this life that is worth having comes easily.

This rings in my head so often.

I can accept what I cannot change even though at times it is hard to tell the difference. I know that the life I have been struggling through the past 5 years must end. If no one is going to help me, that is fine, I will figure it out myself.

I believe that I can live a life that is better than the one I have been suffering through. I am not crazy - my pain is real and there is proof of why I feel it. The system is a crooked one and it wants to break me down. I have fought this long and I will continue to fight.

Yes I am tired. Yes I feel like giving up sometimes but giving up is not an option.

I have to remind myself that I have a strong will and the fire inside me might dim but it still burns.