Navigating Through Marriage

On my blog Daily Bitch, I talked today about the news that Arnold Schwarzenagger not only cheated on his wife of 25 years, but a decade ago fathered a child with a member of their household staff. see post here

Marriage is not always easy and when you are in the public eye, it must be really tough. For the rest of us mortals who can bear our private pain without the media stalking us, going through a rough patch in a marriage is still a hard thing to do.

Most of us marry thinking that it will be forever. Along the way, stuff can happen. The strength of a relationship is in the honesty and communication between the partners. If there is not pure honest communication, trust and respect; affairs and cheating can be a result.

Avoiding the breakup of your marriage takes both partners working on it. Once you take your relationship for granted, it can lose its passion.

We get busy with the details of everyday life and it is work to maintain a relationship. When you do stop and leave the stress outside your front door and look at what you have to come home to, you can begin to appreciate why you married your spouse. Love makes life easier. Take the time and pay attention to your marriage. A little bit of work will make it even stronger.

Focus on Love

We may not have it all together but together we have it all.
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If you have love, you do have it all. Maybe finances are a struggle. Maybe you don't have the job of your dreams. Maybe some material things in your life are lacking. It doesn't really matter if you have love in your life.

Love can overcome all obstacles. 

Think of the warmth you feel inside when your child gives you a hug or tells you that they love you. Pure love.

The look that your significant other gives you when he/she walks in the door. Pure love.

No matter what- to know what love truly feels like and to appreciate its beauty is a gift. Having this gift in your life can help you to overcome anything that life throws your way. 

Focus on love. Feel the joy in it. When something happens to throw you a curveball, remember that you have love and it will see you through whatever challenge comes your way. 

Unconditional Love

Many religions preach love but when it comes to applying it to your everyday life, it gets to be a challenge.

Unconditional love is not always easy. As humans we are flawed and we often put expectations on the people who are the closest to us. Sometimes we are demanding and other times we are disappointed when people do not turn out to be who we hoped that they were.

Many times it is our own inability to love them unconditionally that causes the disappointment. Learning how to accept someone for who they are- faults and all - is what unconditional love is about. People can surprise you but if you accept someone for who they are and what their personal limitations are, you may be less likely to build them up to be someone they are not.

When you can truly see the good and bad in someone and not want to change them, you are on your way to unconditional love.

When you can love someone in spite of their faults, you can open up new opportunities for growth within yourself.

The next time you rush to judge someone's actions or words- stop and think about it first. Acceptance of who that person is and respect for their point of view can give you a new window into who that person is. You may make discoveries that you never would have before.

Laughter- Always the best medicine

Learning how to not take yourself too seriously can help you to cope with challenges in life.

Sometimes when you react to a situation with laughter, it can help to reduce the stress. Being able to admit that you are not perfect, you screw up and make no excuses for it can be helpful.

It is what it is and although you need to take responsibility, you also can accept your faults by being able to laugh at yourself.

Not everything that happens is laugh-worthy but you have to admit that it can make life easier when you can laugh through your tears.

Don't take yourself so seriously and be so hard on yourself. None of us is perfect. Embrace your imperfections because they are a part of who you are. You know what to expect from yourself. Push yourself when you know you can do better but stop beating yourself up when you cannot meet your unrealistic expectations of yourself.

Laugh more. It feels good.

Finding Yourself

Image by sigmaman via Flickr

The recent movie based on the book "Eat,Pray,Love" is a story about a woman's travels and self-discovery along the way. You do not need to travel the globe in order to find out who you are and what you want out of life.

Women can rediscover who they are by stopping the craziness of their everyday lives and reflecting. It is a life-changing experience and one that we all need to do from time to time. Look at it as checking in with yourself.

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