Overcoming Anxiety

I held off from having a surgical procedure for several months because I knew that the recovery was going to be a challenge. No I wasn't afraid of the pain afterwards, my fears had to do with being taken out of my routine.

For almost 4 years I was unemployed and during that time I fell into an unhealthy pattern. I fell into a depression and along with that came anxiety and fear that kept me secluded from the world. I wasn't always unhappy during this period and I was productive albeit in a off-beat way.

Once I became employed in the outside world I had to adjust to being "out" there. It was strange and there were obstacles to overcome. Just being able to get behind the wheel every day to drive to my job was a struggle. Overcoming the anxiety was huge but I did it (without the help of medication).

Years went by and I fell into a routine. I found a job where I am content and everything was going along well. A recurring medical issue kept sidelining me from living and I finally got to the point where I said enough.

I hoped to defy medical "norms" and get back to work quickly. Most of the "thinking" behind this was the fear of losing my routine. I didn't want to fall back into being too comfortable secluding myself from the outside world.

The surgery went well and my doctor was overjoyed with how fast I was healing. Still I had to slow down a bit and physically I was not able to be "normal" yet.

I tried to enjoy the time off but soon anxiety crept in.

Facing the panic is wearing me out. I want to fight back against it but sometimes it feels easier to just give in. I hate the power it has over me.

In just a few days I will be going back to work. I am sure that this is part of what is triggering the panic. It isn't responsible for all of it.

Life after a hysterectomy requires adjustment. My body is "off" and anxiety is a side effect of it all.

I've felt so relieved that I have had no pain, no sleep issues and aside from having days where I have no energy everything seems to be good.

The anxiety happened (I believe) because I was not able to go out at first and then once I was my old demon (driving anxiety) came back full force. Once again I have to re-visit the past and overcome it.

My first step is going to be getting a full blood work-up done. Having had thyroid issues in the past I want to see where my body is at right now. Plus the fact that having a total hysterectomy means my body is no longer making certain hormones could be a factor in my mood swings and panic attacks.

Has anyone had a similar response? I would love to hear from you.