It can always be worse.
Living each day as if it were your last can make you appreciate even the hard times.
Finding that strength inside of you to keep going despite the obstacles brings you to a place where the small joys seem larger.
I think of my friend Alaina Giordano who in the brief time we were close taught me so much about life.
So much more than I realized at the time.
Now that she is gone and I reflect about our conversations, she never ever pitied herself. She knew her diagnosis was bleak. Although she continually baffled the doctors with how well she was doing I am sure that down deep she knew eventually cancer would win.
It did not stop her from living.
She lived a life without self-pity, without blame and with enormous strength and dignity.
From the first conversation we ever had she was always about someone else. Whether it was concern for her children, concern for me or concern for others who didn't have the support she did, she never seemed like a victim.
Alaina wasn't a victim.
Yes she spent years being beaten down by a "man" who threatened her self-esteem and may temporarily have left her powerless but she fought back.
On some level she might have feared him at one time. Even in our early conversations she was concerned about how he would react to her very-public fight for her children.
She drew her strength from her love for them.
I never ever heard her be bitter (about her cancer) although she had every right to be. Cancer sucks.
She taught me to never give up. She taught me that love can conquer all even though she did succumb to cancer, the life she led was one that was full of meaning. She didn't pity herself even when it seemed hopeless.
To me she won because she never gave in. She lived her life with dignity.
She knew she would have to leave her children way before she wanted to. I cannot imagine how she didn't spend every waking moment crying over that.
She lived instead. Every moment that she had, she LIVED it.
Most of us take our lives for granted. We are not living with a terminal illness but we live like we will live forever.
We take for granted that we have the time to put off the important stuff.
No one knows how much time we have.
Sure there are horrible things that happen every day that can either tear us down or cause us to plow through it.
It is our choice how we want to play it.
Alaina's life may seem tragic to some.
She was dealt some terrible obstacles but she lived her life with love in spite of all that could have torn her down.
She was an inspiration for so many people and I am sure it amazed her. She never set out to be a role model.
All she wanted was to be with her children.
I hope those who were touched by her story never forget how she lived. I hope they continue to be inspired by her.
I know I will never forget her and like many people who come into our lives, Alaina came into mine for a reason and I cherish the lessons she taught me.
Live fully because there are no guarantees.
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