Be Careful What You Wish For

I was desperate for a job. Desperate. What I didn't consider when I was in the midst of my desperation was what I was wishing for.

In my despair all I could think was "I will do anything" "I just need a job" and "If only I could get a steady paycheck"...well I guess I got what I wished for.

I have a steady paycheck (as long as I go to work) and I do have a job. That is about all that I have.

I settled and now I am miserable.

I got myself caught in an entry-level position that is a nightmare. I spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week in an office environment with a group of miserable, rude people and as much as I try to make the best of it, there is nothing but negative energy.

I made a mistake when I focused on not asking for more. The job came and it was everything I asked for. That's the problem.

Now as I struggle to not lose hope I am forced to return to this office where I am slowly being sucked dry.

Yes it could be worse and it is actually getting worse. On Friday my computer broke and now I am without my own work space so I will be floating all over the office. This just made my job worse.

Perhaps it is a kick in the ass to motivate me to work harder on finding the right job. Yes I have been looking daily and searching for the right idea of how to go about finding a job that matches my qualifications, wants and desires.

Silly me believes that work should not feel like a prison sentence.

My hope is stronger than my fears are. I keep them in check although at times I am scared. I am scared that I won't find another opportunity. I am scared that one day I am just going to stand up and scream and my co-workers will wonder what my problem is.

One thing that I have learned- be careful what you wish for because it just might come true.