Hollywood can be a cruel place. The demands put upon women who want to have a career in the business causes them to starve themselves, get treatments to try and defy normal aging and all the time they know someone younger and prettier is waiting to take their place.
The recent stories about Demi Moore and Heather Locklear are not just stories about two actresses who have addiction issues; it is about their desperation in clinging onto the youth that has left them.
The difference between the Demi's and Heather's we read about and this writer are not all that extreme. So many of us get struck by the reality of our age and many wish to defy it.
You can color your hair, use all the beauty treatments possible to defy aging but the truth is that we are all going to get older.
Maybe in Demi and Heather's cases it is tougher because they are in a much greater youth-obsessed setting but there are many parallels to why their aging has caused them to react badly.
Both have been unlucky in love and for many 40+ women who are single, there is a sense of desperation to "find" someone and also a fear of being alone. Many everyday 40+ women who are divorced and looking for love seem to regress into a mindset that there is a "Prince Charming" if only they could find him.
They unconsciously put their lives on hold because of their obsession in finding that "happily ever after". Meanwhile they are not getting any younger and in the back of their minds they want to deny that their youth has slipped away.
In Demi and Heather's cases, they both also have addiction issues. The pressures to appear to not age and stay the sexy starlet can encourage the abuse of alcohol and drugs. The overall lifestyle and pressure to stay on top in Hollywood is enough to make anyone crash and burn. Hollywood is not kind on actresses who are getting older.
Like Demi Moore's desperate efforts to hold onto youth, many women search outside of themselves to find the happiness that is lacking in their lives. Divorce has made them bitter and angry and many think the "fix" is a man. In Demi's case she satisfied her need to prove her youthfulness by landing Ashton Kutcher. We all knew it wouldn't last.
Life is always changing and the happiest people are the ones who can adapt to the changes. When you look for happiness outside of yourself you will always be searching.
Whether it is the perfect relationship or the career of your dreams or to "Wow" others by how "hot" you can look, if this is what you need to feel good about yourself you are chasing your tail. You are never going to find happiness in something/someone else unless it already exists inside of you.
Aging is something that we all share. We cannot make the clock stop so live in the moment. Stop looking at what you don't have anymore and embrace what you do have.
Take a lesson from Demi Moore. Rocking a bikini at 40+ did not make her happy. Marrying a younger guy didn't last. Her sad struggles make her look very self-absorbed, superficial and honestly, pathetic. Facing 50 doesn't have to be that way.
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